no bruno, but its a post about my day.

i know this is a blog, and not a journal, but shut up and read this. this is actually good stuff.

Today, for the first time in the history of history, a SONIC opened up in New England. not just anywhere in New England, on Route 1 in Peabody! this may not be a big deal to you because you've had the Sonic experience before, but to me and my friends, this was huge. lets start out with a summary of my day (all times estimated but accurate to a half hour).

11:23am I am rudely awoken by "love is gone" by David Guetta, which happens to be my phone's ringtone. as i come out of my comatose state i disregard my caller id and see who is ringing me at this ungodly hour. (i dont get up until 3pm normally) who else is it, but Alex Volpe. the conversation was a little blurry, but i can remember most of what was said.
Volpe "ill be at your house in 2 minutes"
no salutation, thats how he starts out phone calls.
Me "what? Volpe? what are you talking about?"
Volpe "it opened today, lets go we are going ill be there in a second"
Me "Where? Dude what the fuck are you talking about"
Volpe " Sonic. it opens today. lets go"
*click*

11:30am I am up, dressed, cleaned my teeth, turned my swag on, my usual morning routine. Volpe's "im obnoxious edition" Lincoln Towncar is blaring its horn outside my house, and i immediately dart out because i want me some Sonic, little did i realize until we are on the road, that i have left my phone behind. my meltdown begins. Life without my phone is not worth living, there was so much tweetable (follow me at twitter.com/jmstrj2) stuff happening today, and i had no twidroid to help me out.

11:56 After driving like the typical asshole Italian that Volpe is, we arrive somewhere in Lynnfield trying to pick up our homie Johnny "Elvis" Herook from his work, which is a golf course. He has work until 2pm, so we decide to wait for him to get out, and travel along til we find some lake in Lynnfield. what do we do? WE FISH.

12:30 still no fish.

12:45 i am mad, there is no fish.

1:02 Volpe goes all "natural outdoorsman" and actually catches a nice fish, its about a 4lbs small mouth bass. Pics would be included but i did not have my phone. my apologies.

1:03 Volpe parades around like he is Aquaman, King of the Fishes.

1:05 It gets old.

1:30 I am still not amused with fishing, and the lack of fish i have caught.

1:50 A series of phone conversations take place between Elvis and Volpe, which to the untrained ear may have sounded like two mentally retarded deaf children trying to rap ODB's Shimmy Shimmy Ya. Elvis is out of work, so we pack up and go to get him.

2:01 We find him WHIPPING a golf cart around as if he was a nascar driver, doing some crazy ass turns and hard stops. He gets in the car, immediately asks for a butt to smoke cus he and Volpe are both scumbags.

2:02 Volpe ignores proper directions to Sonic given by Elvis and I, slurs ensue.

2:20 Elvis tells Volpe to turn down some side street, but go slow. Volpe creeps to end of road, Elvis hops out of car and yells "FUCK YOU ASSHOLES YOU GUYS ARE RETARDED IM NOT GOING TO WAIT 4 HOURS IN LINE FOR SONIC! EVERYONE FROM NEW ENGLAND IS GOING RIGHT NOW, ILL GO LATER FUCK U GUYS" and walks away.

2:24 Elvis is back in the car because Volpe offered him another cigarette. Cigs are these men's kryptonite.

2:40 We are at a dead stop on Route 1. This is the line for Sonic...and we arent even at the end of it. There are easily 200 cars ahead of us, and another 25 behind us.

2:50 We moved up 3 car spaces.

3:20 We moved up 10 car spaces.

3:50 We are off Rt. 1 and onto a service road where there are still 150 cars ahead of us heading into Sonic.

4:30 We are on the brink of entering the Sonic parking lot. Deushbags, fast food enthusiasts, pseudo-intellectual hipsters, and a few 5 star smokeshow milfs and other girls are inhabiting this event.

4:45 Our biggest challenge yet, ordering. We pull into the stall, for "stall service", name makes me think of bathroom blowjobs but thats besides the point. To order, you must push a button and wait for an operator to come on, take your order, and then some bimbo comes out on roller skates and delivers your food. We had to ask someone how to order because we are morons.

4:52 Food arrives. The total comes to $17.23, and how much money did we have on us? 17 dollars. Volpe scrambles to find a quarter in his boat of a car, and we give the girl $17.25. Volpe says "keep the change". a $0.02 tip. we have reserved a corner booth in hell.

4:53 we take a picture with the now demoralized waitress.

4:55 Chow time has started. We attack our food like sharks in a frenzy. Both Volpe and I had a #10, a jalapeno burger with fries and a rootbeer float. my float was heavenly, my burger was delectable, and the fries blew donkey balls. next time im getting tots.

5:00 The trio of us heads back to Elvis' pad because he wants to shower for some odd reason. Volpe and I play basketball with some neighborhood kids...aged 12 to 15. Hilarity ensues because these kids are clearly ballers and know what they are doing. My team wins. Volpe loses.

5:30 I finally come back home after an eventful day, which in my eyes was a success.

5:30- 8:30 Chill time. dont worry about what happens in these hours.

9:00 Me, Kapz (from the strip club rant), Chuck, and Christo get together for a 2v2 ball session at Arlington High.

9:10 fun is over as actual basketball players/actual deushbag, scumbag, street rats want to join game and take over.

9:20 game is going on, with an actual black guy playing basketball with us. fun is still not had because these street rats clearly know what they are doing with the ball.

9:30 - 10:45 Basketball "fun" is nowhere to be found.

10:50 The original 4 play a game of 21 which is cut short because Arlington Police come through and yell like we were committing heinous hate crimes against humanity, while we are shooting hoops. The park closes at 11, and one of the street rats says to the officer (in what i believe he said) "ayo mayn iz only lyk 10:50 we gat tahm.". The officer replies with "its 11 on my clock you wanna say different?!"

11:00 we are gone, and night ends.

well, that was my day. i hope you enjoyed the hilarity that ensued throughout the course of my day's events. Fishing + Sonic = recipe for success. Once the novelty of this fast foodery wears off, i am sure i wont venture out to it again, although the food was hella good sans the fries.


Fuck you Sonic, you arent America's drive through because it took you for-fucking-ever to get one in New England even though you tease us with your commercials of free Route 44 upgrades and tasty beverage menu with over 1600 combinations.

Don't read if you are a Mets fan..and Cowboys suck.

if you are a New York Mets fan (even if you are you most likely won't admit it), you might not want to read on. ill give you a fair warning because what im about to get in to is almost too easy to be called making fun of, and too truthful to be seen as slander.

This is Mr. Met. "What is he doing in an ambulance?!", you might ask, unless you are a Mets fan then you already know. The Mets, who are in a tight race with the Pittsburgh Pirates for the worst organization in baseball, have had a barrage of bad news and unfortunate events hurled at them within the last 36 hours. To lead things off, I'll start with the Billy Wagner departure. Given he has been hurt, is 38, and more often than not blows game when he does pitch (which hasnt been lately because hes ALWAYS HURT), was officially sent to the Boston Red Sox today in exchange for two players to be named later. So, there goes one of the team's better pitchers, and they get almost nothing in return. That's whats up.

Next, we have some more awful news. Gary Sheffield left their game tonight with an apparent injury. Just what the Mets need. After their keystone and team leader David Wright goes down, their slugger Sheff gets hurt. To make matters worse, they LOST their game tonight against divisional opponent Florida Marlins. The Mets are now left without Wright, Sheff, Putz(who was shut down for the rest of the season today), and Oliver Perez is questionable for his next start Friday with a bum knee. This next bit of Mets misfortune may make you actually feel bad for the team...almost.


This is the piece de resistance. Even though the Mets have known for a few months now that their ace pitcher Johan Santana had elbow issues, they continue to let him pitch and finally, it has ended like this. Johan is now SHELVED FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON to have minor arthroscopic surgery on his elbow. Atta boy management, keep up the good work. You can just about pack up their locker's belongings and bring out the golf clubs, because the Mets will all be found on the golf courses this fall. The miserable Mets are now 16.5 out of the NL East, which puts them in the same boat as Washington who is 28.5 back. The Mets now need to get their heads out of their asses and pray that they dont blow the 12 game lead they have over the Nats. If the Nationals catch up and come in 4th place in the NL East, i want every fan of the Mets to write me an email at Stinman101@gmail.com telling me if they will continue to root for a team that is clearly the worst run franchise in baseball this year.(bad luck and injuries helped too, i suppose). The Mets have had an onslaught of odd situations this year, including their minor league coach trying to fight his players, their general manager talking about his job security before the midway point of the season while they had a good record, and now all these injuries/seasons ending short. Tough luck NY, atleast you have the Yankees who refuse to lose. By the way, according to Metsblog.com, Mets fans' confidence rating is at 27%.. what are they trying to do, pull an Obama?

With Santana gone, Putz gone, Wagner gone (not that he mattered), Wright gone, and now Shef, who knows what will happen with the rest of the Mets.

Moving on from baseball, we enter the realm of the pigskin.

My boy Michael Vick is set to play in his first professional football game (albeit a pre-season one), since being locked up. This Thursday we can all see Vick take on the Jacksonville Jaguars, and let me tell you, i WILL be watching that. I hope Vick lights up the Jacksonville D and goes crazy on offense.

As much as i hate everything that comes from the city of Filthadelphia, I cannot wait to see Vick AND McNabb on the same field at once. All i have is one word : WILDCAT. If you thought the Dolphins had it good with their Ronnie Brown run show, imagine what Vick, the most explosive runningback with an arm, can do for this team. While i hope Vick and McNabb to great, I hope the Eagles get furiously stomped on by J-ville just out of spite for the city that is known for steak and cheese subs..thats right, steak and cheese not cheesesteak. PHUCK PHILLY, especially the Philly Phanatic. Worst mascot in sports.

Moving on to ANOTHER team i despise, the Dallas Cowboys.The Cowboys, with their celebrity qb, disfunctional upper management and team coaches, and overpaid players, the 'Boys have done it again. Just because you "got 'er hole in 'er stad-yum cuz Jaysus iz 'poda watch 'dem COWBOYS play" doesn't mean that the rest of your stadium should be as retarded as their fan base. Owner/moronic-rich-beyond-belief-tycoon Jerry Jones has put an ENORMOUS jumbotron the size of most motels in Dallas in the stadium and has had it suspended just above 95 feet from the ground, a whopping 5 feet further than the ancient NFL stadium regulations requires. With this being said, (and huge jumbotrons being awesome) of course there is going to be something wrong with it. What is wrong you may ask? ITS TOO CLOSE TO THE FIELD! Punters are HITTING the screens with their punts because, after all, it is only 95 feet off the ground. The Cowboys were playing the Titans when the Titans punter hit the scoreboard for the 1st time in regulation, and the ref's gave the Titans a re-do because well, lets be honest, that is STUPID that a ball can be kicked into a retardedly large TV screen. The typical Cowboy fan will not understand what i wrote because they are, well, they're Cowboys fans. Hopefully someone that isnt pseudo-intellectual will read this and understand what I'm saying when I say that this nonsense needs to be fixed and let football be played uninterfered with by oversized televisions.

Seen above, this is the obnoxiously large jumbotron that Jerry Jones thought would entertain the Cowboys' faithful while they ignore the fact that their team is full of primadonna celebrities and are getting crushed by the NFC (especially the G-MEN!)


Thats all i got for ya tonight. Feast on that Mets/Cowboys fans.

baseball, baseball, and a rant about a strip club.

One, two, three outs..youre out! Phillies 2nd baseman Eric Bruntlett did just that, single-handedly. Bruntlett caught a liner up the middle off the bat of Jeff Francoeur for the 1st out which sent the runners on 1st and 2nd off on contact. He then stepped on 2nd base for the 2nd out and tagged the runner from 1st out. this was the 2nd single-handed triple play to end a game ever, the last one taking place in 1927 by Detroit Tigers 1st baseman Johnny Neun. Bruntlett needed a few seconds to realize what had just happened, until after the game when he was quoted saying "I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what to do.". There is nothing left to do, moron, the games over and you just made all 3 outs by yourself. Great play on Bruntlett's part, but i still continue to hate the Phils.

in other baseball news, former Red Sox failure John Smoltz made his first start as a St. Louis Cardinal....and did AMAZING. in his start, Smoltz had 9k's with 8 in a row. He threw a 3 hitter, given it was against the San Diego Padres who are equivalent to a single A ball club, but WHERE WAS THIS IN BOSTON? Smoltz, like Brad Penny, is just another failed NL ace that the Sox picked up this season in hope of AL dominance, but that has blown up in their faces. The Sox lost tonite in another offensive explosion by the Bronx Bombers led by Hideki Matsui who hit 2 hr's.
Smoltz, seen below baffled at why he is so bad in the AL, might just be what the Cards need to make that playoff push.


While on the topic of the Boston Red Sox, they put a claim in to acquire Billy Wagner from the New York Mets. Wagner, who is ALWAYS hurt, is just another attempt the Sox are making to rejuvenate old NL talent and refurbish them into AL competitors. Wagner, seen here probably being a woman and/or being hurt, had some comments made about him by who else than the Red Sox's token retard Jonathan Papelbon.
Papelbon was quoted on WEEI.com as saying "What has he done? Has he pitched this year? Is he ready to pitch or is he not? ... I think our bullpen is good where we're at right now. Don't get me wrong. But I guess you could always make it better. It's kind of like the [Eric] Gagne thing, I guess.". Wagner did not take kindly to that, responding with "I don't have anything to say to somebody like that"..."when he walks in my shoes then I'll say something. Let him be 38 and have Tommy John surgery." Just what the Sox need, some dugout disfunction! After losing to the Yanks tonight, and only have a 1 game lead over Texas for the Wild Card, the Red Sox need to bring some awkwardness to their team's fluidity.

Papelbon seen above being an idiot, just had to open his mouth about the situation to make things worse in the Nation. Good thing he can pitch (kinda shaky lately though) otherwise this idiot would be flipping burgers and messing up your order at your local fast food eatery.


aside from baseball, im going to get in to a rant here. so, as a fair warning u may not want to read on unless this interests you.

The Strip Club. Normally a place of great levels of happiness for the average man, unfortunately, the last time i went (with my boy Kapz) was less than pleasant. It was a Saturday night, following a brutal beating on the baseball field that our team had endured. We lost 24-2, so we needed something (breasts) to perk us up. As we enter the club, which is normally good for some bumpin' new tunes that the women (ya right, women lol) dance to, my ears immediately bleed and fall of my head to the sounds of something i guess is commonly referred to as "heavy metal". so, after the barrage of screaming nonsense that you can't decipher if its lyrics or just "artistic expression", we are seated because the stage is PACKED. Dirty bird lane was full to the brim, even with onlookers standing behind the people seated...hella creepy right? now, Mac's Two is not the best out there, but its the closest 18+ around and thats all me and my friends can get in to. for a saturday night, we expected it to be busy but this place was packed. there were strippers giving dances ALL OVER the joint, which they usually just take their clients to the private area on the sides of the club. every seat was taken stage-side and in the crowd area. there were not enough women working this night, and there were far too many people in this bitch. after being hit on by the lovely (HAH!) Asian hostess, me and Kapz began to let the night unfold. it took us an hour until 2 seats opened up stage-side. although it saved us our valuable one dollar bills, it is also lame not having titties rubbed up in your grill when you are at the place that is known for that. so, so far into the night we've had: 1. no action, 2. AWFULLY HORRENDOUS music, and 3. the Asian persuasion flirting with me. quite sub par if you ask me. As the night goes on, Kapz and I are still sitting there like "wtf dude theres nothing going on here". We even had planned out an interesting cover up story as to who we are. we planned on being from California where we both play minor league baseball and are only here in Mass to see some old friends of ours before we go back for baseball. WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO USE OUR INTERESTING ACTS BECAUSE THERE WERE NO SLUTS WALKING AROUND! every girl was taken and the stage show kind of sucked because we couldnt get close enough to see anything worthwhile. the night continued on to suck, with the high point (for Kapz) being that he learned a new song, "Cookie Jar" by Gym Class Heroes ft. the Dream. ive already known this song for awhile but to Kapz this was the biggest hit that has ever graced his ear drums. that made Kapz happier than the naked women flaunting their demoralized, soulless, and worthless perfect bodies. outside of that, actually no. this entire night blew. we got the shit beat out of us in baseball, got attacked by some pissed off mosquitoes, drove down Blue Hill Ave and witnessed quite a few less than reputable characters defaming the lovely city of Boston, and couldnt even get close enough to see a good show. when we finally got to the stage, it was the last lady to dance. i was sitting next to a WOMAN! an actual WOMAN! (lesbo im like 90% sure but she was dope so its cool) and Deja (who has won all sorts of stripper medals and awards and was also featured in the movie "21")rubbed her amazingly perfect and tattooed breasts into this girls face. that was the highlight of my night, then getting Deja's tits in my grill too.

to wrap it all up, this PEEP SHOW (da dum tsh) was better than my time spent that night.

and that concludes my rant and blog post. take it sleazy.

is this even news?

ok, this is all the brett favre you will get from me. Favre has signed a deal with the Minnesota Vikings worth $25million over 2 years. shocker. Favre annoys the living crap out of me with his retired/unretired/im-done-with-football/id-like-to-come-back nonsense. Favre, shown below being a bitch and crying because he was once "retired", is back and ESPN has now turned from sports news, to Favre news, just adding to my hatred and annoyance of this man. Hey Shawn Merriman and Brian Urlacher, (and i know they read this blog..), would u mind breaking his hip for me this season?

the sad thing is, since its a two year contract we will enjoy this drama series i like to call Operation: Favrewatch, AGAIN NEXT YEAR! YAY FOR FLIP FLOPPING OVERRATED AND TOO OLD QB's!!

The Detroit Red Wings have signed free agent forward Todd Bertuzzi to a one year deal today. im glad that someone picked him up because he is one of my favorite players. i know he cheapshotted Steve Moore and permanently paralyzed the man, but still, hes one of the games better players. as bad as paralyzing someone is, its not as bad as Dany Heatley driving at crazy high speeds in his Ferrari 360 Modena with alcohol in his system and killing his teammate Dan Snyder. I know both of those circumstances are extremely different, but look at all of the professional sports leagues and you will find scumbags that do things even worse. From being drunk and killing a man with your Bentley, to dog fighting (which really, who cares? its dogs.) to shooting a man at a strip club, to many many many drug related arrests, pro sports are full of morons that if they didnt have their athletic ability would be in jail or flipping burgers for a living.
Bertuzzi, who is pictured here as being a total badass, will get a chance to win the cup this year with the Wings.


Josh Beckett of the Boston Red Sox is the league's leader in wins with 14, and is going for 15 tonight against the Toronto Blue Jays. While the Jays are almost mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, the Red Sox are still fighting for their spot and Beckett seems to be the anchor that the Sox are banking on every time he starts. Kevin Youkilis is back in action tonite after serving his 5 game suspension for his altercation with Tigers pitcher Rick Porcello, and will hopefully spark the dismal offense that the Red Sox call their own. Beckett is the game's dominant pitcher so far this year, and needs to stay on his A-game for the Sox to have a chance.

The Sox come in to tonight 1/2 a game back in the Wild Card race.

Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez has been traded from the Houston Astros to the Texas Rangers today for two minor leaguers. Pudge was the catcher for the Rangers the last time they made it to the playoffs in 1999. The Rangers currently have a half-game lead over the Red Sox for the Wild Card, and unless they win that they will not make the playoffs because the LA Angels of Anaheim have the division on lock. Pudge is the record holder for most games caught, which he broke this season when he passed Carlton Fisk as he caught his 2226th game.



The Washington Nationals barely got it in, but they managed to sign their franchise draft pick Stephen Strasburg to a deal just 77 seconds before the midnight deadline last night. Strasburg (steered by his agent Scott Boras) was able to ink a deal worth $15 million dollars, making Strasburg the highest paid draft pick pitcher ever, passing Kerry Wood from the Cubs. for the Nats' sake, i hope this kid can take his dominant college career and transform it to success for Washington in the MLB. if he doesnt, which i have a tremendous fear that he won't, that will just add to the Nationals' bad luck. Hopefully the Nats catch the Mets this year though!


what im about to get in to right is 100% a rant, but i think this needs to be expressed.

Matt Holliday, shown above getting fondled by a LA Dodger, has been on an absolute tear lately. He is one of the hottest players in baseball as of late, just like he was when he led the Colorado Rockies to the World Series in 2007. He was then traded to the Oakland Athletics, where he started out great. Once he realized that the A's weren't going anywhere in the post season, he began to decline in his stats. While fully capable of being the awesome player he still is, he tanked it in Oakland. The A's got rid of Holliday, sending him to the St. Louis Cardinals where he picked up right where he left off in Colorado, absolutely raping the ball and playing great all around. Basically, Holliday pulled a page out of Manny Ramirez' book and tanked it til he got to go where he wanted to go, but has gotten no flack for it because hes white. If he was of color, i believe all the baseball reporters and writers would be tearing him apart, but instead he is white and is now being raved about for his stellar second half of the season with the Cards. Cmon America, stop being so blind and realize that whats wrong is wrong, no matter what color you are. And Matt Holliday, shame on you for taking a dive. You get paid millions of dollars to PLAY BASEBALL. how hard is it that you cant put up with a losing season and just PLAY YOUR GAME?!

/rant.

thats all i got today, the hate poured out in the last one. peace!

short, sweet, and to the point.

well, seeing as the Miami Dolphins have completely re-done their ownership tactics, having Jimmy Buffet, Marc Anthony, and Gloria Estefan all as minority owners, the Phins decided they need some FLA street cred. What better way to do that than by getting T-Pain (of all people) to cover your fight song! The song was unveiled today at the Miami Dolphins cheerleader calendar release event, and the song even has a remix featuring everyone's favorite Dade County citizen, Pitbull. (too bad Vick didnt sign with the Phins *da dum tsh*)
here it is, WARNING - Contains T-Pain.


moving on from synthesized nonsense, the Washington Nationals offered their number 1 draft pick Stephen Strasburg a record setting deal worth much more than the 10.5 million that the Cubbies offered Mark Prior in the 2001 draft. i do not like that at all, i hate paying players crazy amounts of cash before they have even proven themselves on the professional scale. Strasburg is similar to Mikey Crabtree, yet to play in the bigs but thinks that he deserves everything that their signed franchise is worth. i dont buy into it. i know Strasburg can throw triple digit heat, and i know that hes proven and perhaps the best college pitcher (dare i say) ever, but still he needs to prove himself then get paid. for all the cash hes going to get from MY Nats i hope he is the next Nolan Ryan on the mound.

Strasburg was the best pitcher to ever come out of SD State, and played under the coaching wisdom of former Padre legend Tony Gwynn.

thats all i got for ya tonite, small post i know. maybe there will be more later tonite.

now that the love is gone

Mike Vick, the original Atlanta Falcons dirty bird, is now a Philadelphia Eagle! he has signed a 2 year agreement with Philly, so i guess he can still be a dirty bird. fans in Philly are less than happy that they signed him, believing that Vick is a cancer and will only bring bad things to the team but i greatly disagree. Vick + Red Zone = score. McNabb is a mobile quarterback as well, but does not have the same wheels as Vick, which poses the idea that they will switch qb's in high pressure situations. who knows, Andy Reid has something cookin' up his sleeves though, i can feel it.
and hey PETA, this is for you.


seeing as Vick killed DOGS and went to jail, it seems a little odd that Donte Stallworth, who killed a HUMAN while over the legal limit of blood alcohol content in Florida, gets a year suspension without pay and no jail time. when did America decide that its ok to kill a person but OMG DUDE U CANT HURT A DOG?! its an animal, not a human being. Vick should have never done time in prison, whereas i believe Stallworth should. i understand he paid the family off with millions, but what does that say about the NFL, or national felon league. poor judgment on Goodell's part. Stallworth just misses one year whereas Vick had to go to prison AND get suspended for the first few games when he is up for reconsideration by week 6? awful decision.

Stallworth, shown above in the courtroom, KILLED a man while drunk driving, and seems to be off the hook with a slap on the wrists. Vick kills a few dogs, and the world hates him now. Whats wrong with you, America?

for all those New England fans, your savior in football pads came back. Tom Brady played in the first game of pre-season against the Eagles, and well, he did his thang. Brady went 10 for 15 for 100 yards and 2 TD's, and one UGLY interception. i know he will most likely return to his normal "im-an-awesome-qb" form by the start of regular season, but i also wouldnt be surprised if he showed signs of rust.
and to think, a man of this stature is a NFL quarterback.

the Pats/Eagles game did show me something intriguing though, and that is rookie Julian Edelman. Former QB at Kent State, this guy is 100% athlete. Last night he returned a punt for a TD, which to me is the most exciting play in football. He can throw the ball like a champ (although the Pats dont need another arm with Brady being Jesus Christ and all), he can run like no tomorrow, and has great vision on the field. he is a fantasy sleeper waiting to happen.

this next bit has nothing to do with football, but its equally awesome.

This is my favorite baseball team dance i have EVER seen. Ole Miss, although they stole it from U of Miami's baseball team, has perfected the dance to the song "Love is Gone" by David Guetta. It is a guido club song, but it is a damn good song that has nothing to do with baseball, which makes it all the better.

"Kick his ass, Youk!"

Round 1...FIGHT! Kevin Youkilis of the Boston Red Sox and Rick Porcello of the Detroit (go figure Detroit would be in a fight) Tigers got their brawl on last night(Both shown above giving thug hugs). after Youk was beaned in the back with a Porcello fastball, Kevin decided that it was bogus and clearly felt the need to express himself. seeing as Youkilis is a hothead, i figured he would go out there and demolish Porcello, a young 23 year old slim pitcher...but Porcello held his own and brought the Youkster to the ground. Youkilis also broke a few of the unwritten rules of baseball in this fight, one being NEVER EVER EVER! throw your helmet at somebody. if you are going to charge the mound atleast do it right. tossing the helmet is just something you dont do. Porcello did a great job of bringing the fight to the ground instead of a swinging slugfest which he might have lost. Porcello, being a young pitcher, clearly didnt know what to do in that moment tho. an experienced pitcher would have known to start moving towards either third base (where Brandon Inge who is a big dude and a protector plays) or first base where another big guy is likely to play. the one thing about a baseball fight is that EVERYONE comes out, which is nice to see that everyone has your back. once the two combatants are subdued the rest of the teams just stand there like they were going to do something..but never do. overall i give the fight a 6/10. it wasnt the worst but it wasnt the best. i expected more damage to be inflicted with Youk clearly being pissed beyond belief. i tip my hat to Rick Porcello for taking it to the ground tho, SOMEONE must watch UFC. maybe he trains with BJ Penn.


Former Celtics coach Rick Pitino is in the news today too, and not for a good thing. in an odd series of events, its alleged that Pitino raped a woman at a gym while the trainer (who is now married to that woman) was downstairs. he then did it again a few weeks later at a restaurant. the stories go on to say Rick then paid a few thousand dollars to get the woman an abortion, and somehow the woman is supposedly extorting Pitino for money in one way or another. i have no idea about this story, but it seems really fishy to me. i dont believe it. i guess ill just have to wait til full details of this nonsense come out before i make my judgements though.

Pitino, pictured above, is the current basketball coach at Louisville.

not alot going on today, but the baseball fight should hold your attention to make this be a worthwhile post, haha.

what aint no country i eva heard of!

in a state of disarray after witnessing the Red Sox go 30 innings without scoring a run, i decided to change the channel and watch Pulp Fiction instead of the game. i cant believe the Sox got swept, but at the same time, i can. they forgot to bring any form of offense with them to New York, i think they left it back here in Boston before they left for Tampa. Arod hit a bomb to take the early lead, but then Victor Martinez sparked some hope for the nation with his 2run jack. then the heartbreak started when Damon and Tex went back to back to retake the lead and never look back. the yanks completed the four game sweep, and now sit atop the AL east by 6.5 games while the Red Sox are now tied with the Rangers for the AL wildcard spot and face the AL central leading Tigers in their next series. after that the sox take on the rangers, which will be pivotal for the wildcard race, although the rangers have already won the season series against the sox this year. there is still alot of baseball left to be played, and i think the red sox will come back from this little slump and finish strong.

meanwhile, the bronx bomber's lineup is looking like murderers row, being stacked top to bottom. when robinson cano is in your 7th spot and hitting close to 400, you know you have something good on your hands. Damon is looking like a power hitter more than a sissy-armed outfielder, Arod and Jeter are, well, Arod and Jeter. Tex and Posada are also going strong. the yankees are healthy, and a strong force to be reckon with. as good as the yanks are going, i dont think they'll win the world series, let alone make it there. the LA Angels of Anaheim are my team to beat. i believe that franchise will be facing the Philadelphia Phillies in this year's fall classic, with the Angels knocking off last years champs.

meanwhile in the National League...
the NATIONALS! are on a 8 game winning streak! someone break up the nats! whats up with that? seeing as i am their lone fan in the country, i just want to congratulate them. Led by Ryan Zimmerman and Adam Dunn, the Nats are cruising as of late..but still a horrendous 22.5 games out. atleast they are only 12.5 back of catching the miserable Mets. i hope we can pull that off. that should be washington's goal this season.


also in the NL, Phillies centerfielder Shane Victorino has made the blog today. of course, everyone has seen a play where someone gets thrown out FROM centerfield. well, in yesterday's game, Victorino got thrown out while IN centerfield! the umpire threw the Flying Hawaiian out of the game when Shane made a gesture questioning the umpires balls/strikes called. never has anyone ever been thrown out while playing centerfield. i was shocked that the umpire would abuse his power and toss Victorino from cf. shame on you, umpire.


back in the AL, Texas Rangers' own Josh Hamilton was in the news..and not for something baseball related. as you should already know, Hamilton has battled with drugs and addiction in his life, which resulted in him walking away from baseball, and almost killing himself. he has been sober ever since he has joined the Rangers, but apparently in January in an Arizona bar, Hamilton was revisited by the devil. needless to say, alcohol was involved, and ill just let these pictures do the talking.



check out that rack!


im not a fan of Hamilton, so i dont really feel bad that he had this little relapse, but for those that are fans of him, that should be a little bit of a let down after he vowed to be clean forever.

on to the ice for this one. Chicago Blackhawks forward Patrick Kane was arrested yesterday...for beating up his cabbie. Kane was supposed to get $1.20 in change, but only got the dollar bill back. clearly this is a recession and million dollar athletes NEED that $0.20 so, Kane acted like a knuckleheaded hockey player and beat his driver up. makes sense to me...


and lastly, to the gridiron..sort of.
Florida Gators coach Urban Meyer is unhappy with his cover of SI. apparently he feels that people who wear sunglasses are made to look foolish, and on the cover of Sports Illustrated the coach is wearing a pair of shades. the photographer took about 20 pics of Urban for the cover, when he finally asked the coach to wear his specs in the last one. Meyer refused, but was finally convinced as the photographer said it was just for him. Tim Tebow, aka America's savior and Jesus in football cleats, was quoted saying "That has to be the most ridiculous cover photo ever". Tebow went on to ask "How did they convince him to do that?". honestly, who cares? Meyer is the best college football coach in the world and im sure noone will ridicule him for sporting some shades on a SI cover. get over yourself Urban.


today's weather is supposed to consist of incredibly unhealthy heat with temps well over 90* mixed with high humidity and thunderstorms. just what the sad state of red sox nation needs, oppressive temperatures and rain.

ill leave you with this:
so, a momma tomato, papa tomato, and a baby tomato go for a walk. the baby tomato starts lagging behind, so the papa tomato comes back to the baby, squishes him and says "Ketchup".

the million dollar man-ning

Yes, i know the title is cliche but oh well. New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning has signed a contract extension with the Gmen worth 97 million over 6 years. with a contract that size, he better fulfill his duties to the Giants. is it well deserved? well, in his 4 years as a starting qb he has led NY to the playoffs, including a Super Bowl victory. (hmm, who was that team they beat? i remember something about a perfect season being ruined). Needless to say, it is going to be one kick-ass Christmas at the Manning household this year. Peyton, Eli's older brother, is making some bank as well from the Colts and his thousands of endorsers.


The Red Sox and Yankees revisit the epic rivalry tonight in the Bronx, and it doesnt look too promising for the Sox. after being swept by the Rays in a 2 game series, the Red Sox seem tired and sluggish at the most inopportune time. Left fielder Jason Bay will most likely be out for the first two games of the Yankee series with an injured hamstring. John Smoltz gets the start for the Sox tonight facing Joba (real name Justin) Chamberlain. game 2 doesnt look much better for the Sox either with Clay Buchholz getting the nod. atleast for games 3 and 4 Boston has Beckett and Lester, which is promising from the pitching perspective, its just a matter of if the bat's will show up or not.


49er's first round draft pick Michael Crabtree looks like he is going to sit out the 2009 season and re-enter the draft in 2010. there is really nothing i hate more than a primadonna athlete that has yet to take part of an official NFL play but thinks he is owed more money than the entire system's worth. this texas tech punk better reevaluate his situation before he follows the footsteps of inmate Maurice Clarette. i know its the 49ers, but pro football means pro football contracts. just sign it, play the games, and take your money. is there really any problem with signing a huge contract for playing a sport? cmon now Crabtree.


Milwaukee Brewers' lovable giant/1st baseman Prince Fielder was not the typical teddy bear he normally is. instead, the grizzly bear that is Prince was all sorts of pissed off when pitcher Guillermo Mota plunked him with a 95mph fastball in the thigh after the Brewers threw at Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez in their blowout of a game. once the game ended, Fielder left the Brewers clubhouse and decided to make tracks towards the Dodgers clubhouse where he was stopped by fellow teammates and Dodgers security. there is an unwritten rule of baseball that when u plunk the other teams best hitter, they can retaliate. but thats it. u leave it on the field. once the game is over, the drama ends too. Fielder overreacted and hopefully MLB makes it known that behavior like that is unacceptable.

for a vegetarian, fielder sure acted like a meathead by going after mota after the game.

thats all i got for ya right now, my face is still super huge from my wisdom teeth being removed so im going to ice my cheeks now. later!

wicked pissah, its shahk week.

Im back from my weekend in Cooperstown, NY and back to the blogosphere, so lets break it down then.


Nike SB came up with one of the best extended commercials i have ever seen. its got some of the sport's best skaters, Kobe Bryant, and....ICE CUBE! skating to the hit "Today was a good day", Paul "P.Rod" Rodriguez tours LA doing some crazy skate tricks. Gotta love skateboarding..and gangsta rap.


This next topic grinds my freakin' gears. As you might have heard, unless you are deaf or live under a rock, it is Shark Week on Discovery. What does that mean, you may ask? To be blunt, its a bunch of punks getting hyped up about watching people get gored and ripped to shreds by some sharks. shark week gets the same type of hype that Dave Matthews Band gets anytime they are mentioned, everyone turns into a giddy little schoolgirl and thinks they are either a member of the band or a marine biologist filming these finned killing machines. Dont get me wrong, i LOVE shark week, but for different reasons. i wanted to be a marine biologist for the longest time before i changed over to wanting to become a sportswriter, so anything relating to the life aquatic has my utmost attention. im not the kind of kid who is all about "GO SHARK! KICK HIS ASS! DAMN NATURE, YOU SCARY!" If you want to see someone get sharked up, watch Deep Blue Sea. Its got Sammy L!



in baseball news, the New York Yankees own Melky Cabrera has hit for the cycle today. he is the first Yankee to do that since 1995. surprisingly, the Melk Man delivered in a game which was supposed to be a pitcher's duel between ChiSox ace Mark Buerhle and Yank's stud C.C. Sabathia. i'm glad he stole the show because i can't stand Sabathia. The only thing i like about him is that he wears some FILTHY custom edition Air Jordan 4s, 5s, 7s, and 9s baseball cleats. i do like the Melk Man tho.

The Yankees won their game 8 to 5, as did the Boston Red Sox, leaving the AL East race for 1st a 1/2 game apart.

The Red Sox played the Baltimore Orioles today in a game of batting practice. Clay Buchholz, who i would have liked to have been shipped up to Toronto for Halladay, threw the O's their batting practice today serving up 7 runs through 4 innings. The O's did no better as the Sox put up 18 in their offensive onslaught led by newcomer Victor Martinez. Casey Kotchman, another new acquisition by the Sox, got his first AB in his Sox uni today.

to cap off this post, i am going to show you my most hyped up and anticipated video game release. you are all familiar with the games rockband, guitar hero, singstar, etc...well check this out.

thats right, DJ HERO, featuring Jay-Z and Eminem's hit "Renegade". the special Renegade edition will include the controller, dual discs, hard case, and dj stand, pictured below. now you can join the ranks of Clinton Sparks, DJ Khaled, Mick Boogie, and the likes.

this is the standard DJ Hero controller, the Renegade edition is black and gold with the word "renegade" between the sliders.


im hella tired so im going to check out now. Later homies