ok well before this begins, this is another tale from the Adventures of Justin Komins, and will have nothing to do with sports. All names of places and times are being withdrawn because of possible police report write-ups...
with that being said, lets get down to business:
Tonight, Saturday the 26th, was scheduled to be another perfectly happy party night at college...but partying never happened. Me, my friend Volpe (from the Sonic story) and Kapz (my best friend) all make our venture out to the school, and this is where we originally made our 1st mistake.
Lets give you some details about this trio...
1st incident - Me, Kapz, and Volpe leave a "party" which was awful, and it is quite late. we leave said party to grab some food, which leads us to a local restaurant. we are starved, and order bountiful plates of food which is a bad idea, because our friend Volpe is ALWAYS short on money and hasnt paid for anything almost ever. we befriend the waitress, and give her some mardi gras beads and put her in awkward situations to tell us which of the 3 is best looking. when the bill comes, Kapz and I pay our share, but Volpe has no money, but is LOADED with monopoly money from the school play. he pays his share with fake cash, and we are walking out all cool like, but i burst into laughter as i pass the policeman detailing the place. the other 2 follow as we book it to the car. we get in, peel out, and the cop sticks his hand out to stop the car. we tell volpe to GO! and we peel out onto the street. almost causing a 5 car pile-up, we dash up the road and make it into a Wendy's parking lot, where we (in a scared shitless manner) proceed to make it rain monopoly money out of Volpe's car windows in effort to lose the evidence. at this point, we see numerous blue lights flashing in our direction, so we drive like a nascar racer until we pull into a cemetery and evade the fuzz. what did we miss out on? just chewing and screwing, resisting arrest, evading the police, driving recklessly, and probably disturbing the peace..it was like 2am. (or something like that)
example 2 - the trio of us are again in Volpes car, when we are going to pick up a girl at her house. near her house is a White Hen Pantry convenience store, which apparently got held up by knifepoint 3 seconds before we arrive. as we park to get her in the car, a cruiser pulls on the street and shines his spotlight on us. we dont sweat it cus we didnt do anything..or so we thought. the girl gets in the car, and then 3 cop cars come FLYING down each end of the street, surrounding us in the car and yell "PULL OVER" via the intercom. we are already pulled over, and have now questioned Volpe's integrity because we are being SWAT TEAMED by picking this girl up. with the entire neighborhood lit up by cop lights, the girls mom comes darting out of the house yelling "officer! these are great boys they didnt do anything believe me" only to be responded by the cop saying "MA'AM GET BACK IN THE HOUSE!". We are asked to leave the car (me and kapz) and we get out and have to put our hands on the roof. we get patted down for contraband and weapons, while the girl is freaking out and Volpe is still in the driver's seat. over the radio's we hear "brown sweatshirt suspect was last seen in"...what did we have in the car? a brown sweatshirt..and Volpe's huge ass super illegal knife in his glove box. so, while we are basically getting arrested, and all of us are legit shitting bricks out of fear of going to jail for something we dont have ANY idea about, one of the 20 officers at the scene gets a radio message saying the suspect escaped in a white ford explorer, not a lincoln (im uber-obnoxious edition) towncar. the officers start to vacate the scene after we suffer from heart attacks for almost being arrested.
basically what im trying to say, is that when the 3 of us are together, AWFUL THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN.
so back to tonite. We are going to this school, and literally not even 3 seconds on campus, a cop car pulls up and shines his spotlight on us. we arent doing anything suspicious, besides being associated with Superguido Volpe. so, the cop car (which by the way is a campus police man, not real police) parks, and 2 cops get out and start walking rather quickly towards us. so, being worried they were after us, we start to freak out because the girl (who sucks) was supposed to let us in and she wasnt there. luckily, a girl was walking into the same building so we ran in with her and the cops actually followed shortly. we ducked into our friends' room, and within 2 seconds of that, my phone blows up with numerous texts from people telling me the police are after me. FOR WHAT! apparently its not cool to be good looking on campus (that had to be what they were after me for). This is not where it ends, no not at all. I keep getting texts saying "hey where are u i hear cops are looking for u" "yo watch out RAs are after you" and "dont leave where u are, cops are on prowl 4 u". im like "what the fuck is this shit", and just want to party. Volpe, being retarded, has to go smoke outside so he is accompanied by the girl (who sucks) so he doesnt get arrested. she runs back in and throws his RED ed hardy hat in her room, and runs back out. apparently the cops saw his red hat and not my bright green LRG sweater, so the hat is bad news to us. With the entire school's police force, every RA in the school, and almost every student i know telling me we need to get the fuck outta dodge, we bail. my friend Volpe goes to school in Boston, so we go to one of his friend's parties in Alston which is right next to the city...this gets interesting.
In Alston, we drive down this street which can be easily compared to Bourbon Street on Mardi Gras. the street is flooded with drunken idiots of all colors, shapes and sizes, and people begin jumping on Volpe's car. as we are having people ghostride his whip, we make our way down this "party street". as we park and walk to the party house, which we never ended up making it to, we are witnessing one of the most AWFUL parts of the Boston area. this is one of those areas where u read about homicides, robberies, muggings, date rapes, etc. we met up with a few kids, who will be referred to as black kid 1, black kid 2, black kid 3, and black kid 4. not to be racist, but these guys are thugs. straight up, gangstas. theres no getting around that. so, these guys are belligerently drunk, and are doing stupid things. at one point, black kid 1 goes up to a BUM and says "yo my bum n***a YOURE A JERK! AYYY YOURE A JERK!" and black kid 2 is singing,er well, SCREAMING some Jadakiss song to the world. as we are walking with this group of thugs, we pass a 2009 white BMW 7 series parked ever-so-innocently on the corner. black kid 1 goes all Bruce Lee and KARATE KICKS THE FUCKING WINDOW! he didnt break it, thank god that BMW windows are clearly made from plexi-glass or some shit, but then he and his posse of gangstaz run their asses off so now its me, Volpe, and Kapz left in the middle of gangstaville in Alston. this was a scene that you can expect to see when you go to a sideshow in San Francisco's hoods. (watch this and you'll get an idea)
needless to say, shit was hella hyphy.
the next thing that happened had to be a sign from god that he hates us. some moron runs up to Volpe and is pitching all this shit about a fight to him. Volpe didnt introduce us to him, which clearly means he doesn't know this scumbag, and doesnt want any part of him. so for a good 20 minutes this asshat is blowing hella hot air about a fight to Volpe, ignoring me and Kapz until Volpe says "dude go away" which at that point, the random shmuck screams "PUSSY!" and other sorts of bullshit. we then leave this hell hole and come up with the genius plan to go back to the campus we just got chased out of...
still getting texts from people saying i am this College's Most Wanted, we waste time by going to Burger King. in this BK, which was friggen HUGE, we order and eat, while watching the WORST movie ive ever seen. Apparently this BK played movies in it, fancy! so, just when we finish up at BK, i got a phone call from another girl (awesome girl) telling me that the cops are still on heavy patrol at the school because apparently some punk thinks he can die on campus. we waste some more time before we just call it a night and skip the risk of being held in contempt of the campus police.
the moral of the story - fuck campus police, fuck RAs, fuck hoodlums in alston, fuck saturday night.
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